Loss. And Loss. And Loss.

There is grief support for children who lose parents, unless they are adopted. I rather feel like Jack Worthing in The Importance of Being Earnest, who is told “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.”

Well, as an adoptee, I have four parents. I lost two. Lost a third, permanently. Reunited with one. Was rejected by the final one.

That rejection? Stings. Still. The reality of me is threatening, the things I’ve most feared my entire life, the reason I am so often less than myself.

And I’ve been “invited” to reach back out and potentially face rejection again. I’m told that my final remaining unknown parent is “open” to speaking with me — now that they’re in the midst of a health crisis, one that could resolve badly. So, if I’m so inclined, I can reach out again. It might be my last chance. And I could open myself back up to lose a real person this time, instead of the possibility of one.

I guess I wonder how I keep myself in all of this.

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2 thoughts on “Loss. And Loss. And Loss.

  1. I’m late here, but I want to say that it’s sad that one of the consequences of the closed adoption era (and adoption in general, I suppose) is that certain types of grief are not recognized or acknowledged. But that doesn’t mean the grief isn’t experienced.

    By now you have probably decided how to resolve this invitation. I hope it has gone well for you, whatever you decided to do.

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    • I was not paying any attention to how long it’s been since I posted! Thanks for the reminder. I will do a quick update.

      Like

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