Feeling Normal

After spending time where adoption felt normal last spring, and learning, in a tiny way, what it felt like to feel “normal,” I’m still parsing that out. I would guess that “normal” generally doesn’t come with a feeling of amazement, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

I’ve been echoed. I’ve been mirrored (emotionally, not physically). I’ve heard myself validated by many other people. My adoption experience feels normal for the first time, ever.


It matters so much. It matters to me, in my fourth decade and grappling with my adoptee identity. It matters as I try to balance adoption as one piece of my puzzle. It matters to see my adoptee self mirrored.

I hope that younger adoptees can find adult adoptee writings and see that we are coming out okay. That we are working through it, we are helping each other through it, we are speaking up and speaking out about what does not work in adoption.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: I write in part to work out what’s going on with me. But I write as well in the small hope that maybe something I say will be meaningful to another adoptee struggling.

I am proud to be writing as part of the #FlipTheScript movement during National Adoption Month. Adoption needs adoptee voices — after all, isn’t it supposed to be all about us?


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