I have a couple billion drafts kicking around on the blog background, as well as a few hundred more in a paper pile on my desk. I’m very good at starting things lately, and less good at sitting down and finishing them.
And I’m feeling okay about that. Sometime just after my amazing experience of sitting with and discussing life with other adoptees at the AAC conference, a lot of things in my life started to come together. The therapy discussions, things I’d learned at AAC, some reading I’d been doing on resilience, the mindfulness class I’d been taking — I began to see larger patterns in how all these pieces could help me come back to a place of stability. I don’t think I’m going to be magically “done” working out how I feel about adoption, how it affects my life, or why the most random triggers seem to bring it up. But I feel like I’m amassing an arsenal of tools that will help me with this work going forward. As if I’d been looking at building a house but was standing in the middle of a forest with a pen, and now I have my fully-stocked tool box with ax and hammer at the ready, I’m feeling better prepared.
So yeah, I have a lot more to say, but it’ll be a trickle for a while, as I don’t know how most of these essays end.