In my weird but admittedly very lucky Twilight Zone of reunion, I’ve run into one problem I don’t completely understand.
Wait, that phrasing was wrong. I don’t understand much of any of reunion, actually, and the problem is more dealing with that than anything. Dealing with adoption, in and of itself, not even considering all the personalities involved, is more confusing than anything.
But here’s the “good” problem. My mothers are both very social, outgoing extroverts. Neither one really gets the introverted me. Part of the introversion is just me, built in, genetics, and I’m guessing that comes from my bio-father who has no interest in speaking with me (or not enough interest to do it, in any case). Part of it is adoption — it takes me years to trust people, and I build relationships slowly because of that. But at this point, adoption is “just me,” too, good, bad, or ugly (and it can be all three at once).
Anyway. I live across the country from my (a)mother and my first mother. But they, weirdly, live a few hours apart. Balancing visits to both of them in the same trip is always kind of awful for me. But it looks like they are going to get to know one another, so that might make it easier? Maybe? I don’t know. My first mother has a new job that involves traveling regularly to a town near my mother’s, and asked if she thought my (a)mother would like to get together sometime. I asked my (a)mother, once I’d sat with it for a few weeks, and she was very excited by the idea.
At first I didn’t know how I felt about it, and then I realized that they will likely get along with more ease than I have with either of them. How do I feel about that? I think I thought that it should bother me, and I really don’t know why. I let it sit for a bit. And I decided that it would probably make my life easier in the long run if my family all gets along and likes each other. Maybe there would be less balancing. I’ll let them figure out their own relationship, while I keep working at figuring out mine with both of my mothers.
Weird? Hell, yeah. What about adoption isn’t?